so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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