Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
