She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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