i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize