I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize