SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
