I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
