It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Randomize
