with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize