on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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