ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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