Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
