the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
