UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
