Need sex. Gaining weight.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
