physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
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She just used a chaser for red wine.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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