And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
