stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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