how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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