I CAN MOONWALK!
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
