Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
