I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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