Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
