C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
