Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
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May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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