i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
