i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
