Porn is love you can see.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Randomize
