I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
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we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
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He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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