I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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