Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
