Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
