i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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