What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
