I think I died a long time ago.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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