It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
