So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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