Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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