Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
