The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
