i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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