cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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