Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I could fuck to npr.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
