dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
