just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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