Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
