I am in a vortex of obligation.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
my liver is dry heaving
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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