he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
you had me at cake vodka
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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