I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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