garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
