My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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