Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize