I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
