lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
wakey wakey hands off snakey
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
