u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
