i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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